How I Miss Yesterday
by glistening moon
Summary: Nick, so caught up in his memories of Jeff, doesn't notice the danger that lurks behind him. ONESHOT. Warnings: homophobia. Sort of AU since they don't go to Dalton...


**AN: I do not own the characters from the show Glee, if I did, many things would be different. Like the lighting of the show for example. **

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><p><strong>How I Miss Yesterday<br>**

A dark haired boy stumbled as he strolled down the bustling city street. The streams of people who poured from the shops gave him no mind. The boy was a nobody; so why should they pay him any attention?

Nick was used to this; being ignored. He was happier this way, safer. He knew the other sort of attention he could grab, the sort of attention that would leave him broken and beaten- just like Jeff. Jeff was so full of life, just a bundle of happiness, and also, the only other boy who Nick knew that was out of the closet.

Not that he was going to come out to his new school, his last one was hard enough. Besides, he couldn't, not after what had happened to Jeff. The blond, rambunctious, cheerful dancer who had held Nick to his chest as they kissed, and then did so much more. Jeff was everything to Nick; his best friend, his singing partner, his boyfriend, his anchor.

But then Jeff was killed; beaten to death by some hate-filled homophobes. The bigots were never caught, never even pursued by the police. 'Why would they?' Nick thought bitterly, 'Jeff was just another fag to them.'

Nick idly wondered how different he would be if Jeff was still alive. He would be different; happier for sure, not like he was now; left with just a ghost of cheer that would occasionally flash across his face. Or even still, what if Nick had never met Jeff? Nick would still be silently suffering in his closet while Jeff would be the only gay boy in school; the only one to suffer the vulgar slurs thrown his way.

Nick reasoned he would be happier if he had never met Jeff, because now he knew what he was missing. Now he knew the joy of finding love, the bliss of being accepted for who he was, no matter how unusual.

As Nick walked surrounded by a haze of memories he caught glimpse of the café where they had had their first date. Nick had been awkward and nervous, but Jeff had shown him how to have fun, how to let go and enjoy the meaningless laughter and chatter.

Nick remembered how he had blurted out to Jeff, "You're very unusual."

And Jeff, still calmly dunking his potato chips in his coffee had replied, "Only to those who are usual."

Nick was so caught up in his memories of better times that he wasn't aware of the boisterous group of boys following him, at least, not until he was grabbed and pulled into an ally way. A hand was clamped over Nick's mouth the instant he started yell, and more hands held him still as he thrashed around, trying to get free.

"Stop struggling you faggot!" A deep voice growled into his ear.

Nicks' blood ran cold. He knew that voice. It was a voice that Nick would never forget.

It was Ryan, a big, burly boy who was built like a mammoth and had about the same intelligence. Ryan had also targeted both Nick and Jeff back at his old school, making every day like hell.

"Please stop!" Nick whimpered through the hand like an animal trapped in a cage.

The group let out a round of raucous laughter, "You want us to let a freak like you go?" One of the boys shouted.

"Yeah, not happening anytime soon you fag." Ryan snarled, his dark eyes flashing dangerously as he sneered.

"Please! I haven't done anything!" Nick pleaded desperately, a few tears escaped from his eyes.

Ryan snorted, "Haven't done anything? You're a bloody fairy! You're a freak! We need you burning in hell before you spread anymore fairy-dust!"

Nick froze.

'Burning in hell'? That sounded like they were going to kill him…

Before Nick was aware of what was happening a sharp pain entered his stomach. Nick looked down to see a knife protruding from inside him, then the same hand that held the handle jerkily removed the weapon. The blade was dark red and glistening with blood.

Nick suddenly found the floor approaching his face, except it wasn't rising, one of the boys who had been holding Nick had shoved him to the ground. All around him the group was dissipating, each of them sending a swift kick to his wound or spitting in his direction.

Through his agony Nick heard them laughing and jeering, no remorse or regret being shown for what they had just done. They returned to the busy street which was filled with the people who had ignored the pleads of the boy being stabbed. Everyone carried on as normal, ignoring the dying boy in the ally.

As Nick felt the searing pain lessen and his vision fade, he wondered why he had tried to hide who he was, why he had stopped smiling. Sure, Jeff had gone, taking with him Nick's heart, but he still had a brain and he should have used that brain to live a full-life, not the half-life he had struggled through for the last 3 months. It wasn't worth the temporary safety.

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><p><strong>Yep, that's it. Sorry for any spellinggrammar problems, I did my best to try and fix them…**

**I originally wrote this at school where we had to respond to a prompt in an hour, this is my edited version where everything is exactly the same but I spelled things better. I didn't intend to write Niff, but I only had an hour so I just wrote whatever came to my mind. **

**Also, I live in Australia, so that's what the city is like for me… I don't really know how different they are in other countries, so I just assumed they would be similar enough to let this pass.**

**Please let me know how this is, and maybe how I could improve?**


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